Toast in Towcester, four cans of cyder, a Becks and a cup of tea.

After a 'standard' day shooting on Thursday I drove to a small market town near Silverstone, Milton Keynes, called Towcester. The purpose - a PR stunt organised by Costa's PR's to promote the new Coffee store, and I was producing content for the news/online media. The stunt was an artist painting with spreads on toast which was to be fixed on the windows of Costa, so painting on toast in Towcester - genius. Sticking the toast down wasn't so easy but with a crack team of professional toast loaders (namely the PR team, myself and Soundman to the stars Joe Price, we nailed it - well actually we didn't we spent £300 on NO MORE NAILS.

NEWS:

www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2010/09/09/marmite-masterpiece-artist-uses-toast-as-canvas-for-celebrity-portraits-of-david-beckham-and-stephen-fry-115875-22549015

VIDEO:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-eBIntrqq0

Professional Toast Loaders Darius G Laws & Joe Price*:



After smashing the edit, involving time lapse photography, and couple of quick uploads I drove (with top PR Account Handler Madame Julia Hatch) back to London. My work wasn't over until I'd transferred all files for use first thing in the morning. I got back to Colchester just before midnight having been up since 5am so sleep was well deserved.

Friday's main shoot was a fashion based pr video with top Fashion Presenter/Producer Helen Boyle - I was reunited with Cameraman to the stars Jonas Abbott and we spent the day learning about fashion and how to wear the correct size bra - I also learnt that my favourite colour blue is still the 'new black'.

The shoot went relatively well and after a refreshing Hoegaarden I got a lazy taxi to Liverpool St and hit the 20:00 train as there was a curry with my name on up in uphill Colchester. The train was very busy and there was no seat for me. There was however an old friend, Chole Furniss, sat alone opposite a man drinking cans of cyder. I kneeled on the floor, to the frustraion of everyone wanting to get past me, to have some banter with my old Colchester Sixth Form buddy and fellow Blur enthusiast. She was more tired than I so didn't want a can of Becks but was happy with a cup of tea. A west London dweller, I learnt she 'going home' for a wedding but as per my routine wasn't so certain of the detail and needed to 'find the invitation' - standard.

The Cyder drinker sitting opposite was content with my slight invasion into his personal space. He was on his third can of Cyder since leaving Liverpool St, I enquired if he was going to Norwich but he wasn't he was heading to Colchester, I was somewhat taken aback by his determination to get through four cans of fine Suffolk Cyder in such a short space of time but fair played to him I accidently drank a bottle of rose on the way home on Monday so who was I to argue. He actually showed me how he wouldn't be able to finish his fourth due to a broken ring pull. Determined to show my manly practical skills, and relishing in my success of sticking toast to windows with no more nails I just had to get his can open. So, I whipped out my front door key, penetrated the can and my fellow commuter was on his fourth just minutes before we landed in Colchester.


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* available for hire

Man time on the coast of Essex, no "last train" and a £90 taxi

My partner in European travel adventures Thomas Charles Whitman picked me up at 06:30 on Saturday and we got a transfer from a friend's house in South-West Colchester to Mersea where we met a man and a boat.

It was a male only trip which was ideal as there was only a small bucket to pee in and we were to be at seat for 8 hours. During which time three of us, myself included, had multiple sickness off the side of the boat - the first man of illness was Alex Brown who won the prize for the worst smelling sick I've ever experienced. Second up was myself, although I wasn't sure if it was the boat's rocking motion or a few Hoegaarden's the night before which had done me in, finally it was my good friend Howard (father of one) Alistair Mitchell who "clearly hadn't learnt to be sick as a child" (quote from fellow fishing novice). Once we had all got it out of our system and the skipper had decided to take us to less choppy waters we began to focus on the job - and fish for the BBQ was the desired outcome. Sadly everything we caught was too small to eat with an exception of a whiting (sic) which fisherman Alex decided was to be taken home and prepared for his good lady.

After some food and a few ales we hit the road back to Colchester (DGL minus a flask and a bum bag which were lost somewhere on the coast). Fisherman Thomas Charles Whitman aka Thomas Jenson Whitman was my assigned driver back for the final leg of my journey. Amusingly he had an evening appointment which he wasn't quite on form for following a day of fishing.



After a bath and some photo-editing I prepared for a London bound evening trip. Fisherman Howard Alistair Mitchell was to join me and we boarded the 21:03 train to London. It wasn't very busy, we had a good table seat and had a bottle of the golden wheat beer, some say the drink of the Gods, aka Hoegaarden. We had a long chat with a female ticket inspector about life/the trains/etc concluding with a question from me asking about the final return train to Colchester. I was quoted 12:46am. With this in mind I wrapped early from my East London event and was at Liverpool St at 12:30am, keen on the idea of a hot apple pie and a Sunday newspaper for the return journey. Sadly there was no smooth way home as the last train had in fact been 12:18am. The station staff were as helpful as they could have been but it was I in the end who had to get a 00:55 train to Shenfield and then a £90 taxi from there to get back. Otherwise it would have been another sleep over in the doorway of a shop which wasn't a healthy option. I have written to NX East Anglia and on the basis of being given inaccurate information expect a refund of the cost of my taxi. Fingers crossed.

A Journey on water

I didn't have to travel on the train today in fact I walked to the Roman streets of Colchester twice but this travel wasn't enough to satisfy my craving for a journey....

So, and the reason I had to walk into Colchester on the second occasion today, I decided it was time to find out if my inflatable boats could provide a journey down the river colne. After purchasing a pump, as well as Dom Joly's new book 'A Dark Tourist', I had a mini work out/proceeding to pump my two boats. The first one had a hole on a join so I concluded it was a write off, the second boat had a previous puncture repair but it seemed to be holding so with a pair of oars I took it to water. Just around the corner from where I live is a former Lido which is now connecting to the river. The water level was quite low so I had to jump in, I found myself hesitating in front of a man who I noted had a canoe by his side. He saw my struggle and offered advice in how I would get a float without falling into the mud which I just about managed.

The next challenge was to engage my oars so that I could go cruising however it it suddenly struck me I was sitting in a child's dinghy with a massive hole in it held together by an ancient bike type repair patch - it was time to give up. This view was also recommended by a collection of onlookers. Realising I no longer had a purpose for this boat I asked the man of the water what I should do with it - he suggested a car boat sale. Noting my man's (Justin) canoe I asked if I could get involved - he said I could and that he was waiting to hit the water with the Colchester Canoe Club, I was welcome to hire the full kit for £5. Cashless I asked if I could drop the money through the door tomorrow, after all I do only live over the road. Justin had an eloquent solution, he offered me £5 for my boat as he had a beach hunt in Harwich and his daughter would get use out of it. We had a deal and so I joined some twenty+ guys and we went for an epic journey along the river Colne towards Colchester's Castle and back.