No Grey Lines - Get Out of 1st Class

The 07:15 didn’t look like it had any seats so I decided to take relax on the platform and wait for the 07:30. It was a pleasant rest but it didn’t prepare me for the journey I was about to endure.

I sat on the floor of First Class along with a female commuter as there were so many people waiting in the vestibule when a large IC2 male and female ticket inspector came along. The female suggested that I might want a seat but I politely advised I didn’t have a first class ticket to which the man then asked me to step over the dividing line – and back into Standard Class. Given the obvious lack of room on the other side of the line, and given that he also asked my fellow commuter to do the same I told him he was being “pedantic” but that I “didn’t want an argument”.

Moments later I managed to obtain an exclusive off-the-record interview with a female ticket inspector whom advised me there was no ‘grey lines’ with that particular payment enforcement officer and that it was just black and white. She quietly advised me to stand in First Class but to move quickly upon the man’s return. We had further banter about the lack of WI FI access and how slim the chances might be of a future pricing structure, a la 1980’s football terraces, where you may get reduced ticket prices for standing. We both concluded it was never going to happen.

I noticed an argument broke out between the male ticket enforcement officer and another male commuter who claimed to have walked the length of the train to find no seat or space to stand….. it was a glorious way to start the day but it didn’t end there.
After some banter with my fellow commuters the ticket enforcement officer returned to ask everyone to move away from the first class door. His focus centred on a young twenty something blonde lass whom he deemed to be sitting way too close to the dividing line. He then turned on me as I had stepped over the line, to which I pointed out was because I was letting him walk past me. Things began to get a little silly so I went into the toilet for a few minutes to make a statement to camera. I came out and the discussions were continuing, I noted some First Class commuters were amused so I went for a chat. They were in no way bothered about their space being impacted by a few standard classers sitting/standing near them...

HOW MUCH!!!

I took a train from London to Birmingham today for work. Return cost £100 - surely this is insane!