Disparities in Service on the East Coast mainine vs London2Norwich service

Today I was on a PREDITING mission to York – for those of you not in the media-game that means I was off to produce/direct/shoot and edit some tv/video/online content. Leaving Kings Cross in the morning was pretty sweet as everyone else was coming into London as I made my way north. Shocked to notice that Burger King and the AMT coffee stall had disappeared so I had to settle for a cup of tea on the train. Incredibly the train to York took just two hours, so that’s a journey which would normally take 4 hours in a car taking just 2. On this basis you would expect a journey to London from Colchester to take 30 minutes, or even less if driving at DGL Pre near-death-driving car write off days back in ‘07. The other disparity in quality standards is the fact this blog posting is being created thanks to free wi fi access. Why can’t the London to Norwich trains have this!. Having done a few hours work in York I’m now heading back on a lovely spacious train where I will have to battle the crowds back through to East Anglia. The only complaint about today’s train experiences was the loud northern folk on the seats opposite me this morning, clearly not a National Express issue – although last night’s Norwich train had some very noisy (train newbie’s from the depths of Norfolk no doubt) people on board the quiet coach – maybe National Express could remind all passengers firmly that a quiet coach is not the place to be practicing the art of being loud!

Two consecutive morning delays & a man touching my foot

The title says it all really. I fell asleep yesterday morning next to the toilet only to be awoken by a man pushing my leg - amusingly as the said man had entered the toilet my foot, pressed against the door, had followed. He was merely trying to close the door - it was just a shock to see a middle aged man in a suit holding my foot.

Break Down.

Leaving work at a casual 18:30 a colleague, Mr Iain Holding, and I took large strides towards Old Street where our company would part and I would continue onto Liverpool St. It was a pleasant stroll despite the rain, which has never really bothered me. I enquired as to his eating plans for the evening, wisely he had secured a deal with his lady, I however hadn’t been as smart. As I walked onto the neon lit, fast-food paradise that is the Liverpool St concourse I noticed larger crowds than normal. Something was wrong, you could see people on their phones, and no doubt justifying their late arrivals to loved ones. Sure enough the annoy announced that due to a broken down train in Colchester we were set for delays up to 50 minutes. Racked up with pages of Literature I made my way to a seat, as I forced my way through the gauntlet I resisted all temptations to purchase burger based meals in favour of the prospect of healthy food back home at the Villa. Moments after cracking into the nationally significant news story about Madonna’s marriage coming to an end my eyes were distracted and I could see a young IC2 man being followed by men with walkie talkies. He was throwing his hands in the air and clearly not happy, I couldn’t hear what the issue was but I somewhat doubt it was anything to do with his jeans that were hanging around his knees (alright that’s slightly exaggerated).

Noticing the 19:18 train to Harwich via Colchester was boarding I made my way to the platform. The train was more packed than a Luminar Leisure nightclub (who run classy establishments such as Liquid-Envy and Chicago Rock café) selling Carling for a quid on a Saturday night so I decided to hold out for the 19:38 to Ipswich. Boarding this train I went straight to the toilet, as the need to urinate was intense, joyfully the toilet was full of paper, piss and the lock didn’t work. Upon taking a knee-touching seat a man larger than I was tucking into a packet of walkers and a young guy to my left was clipping his finger nails – I was very tempted to advise him of his disgustingly selfish ways but resisted.

I picked up where I left off with reading the ‘news’ about Madonna and her husband before being distracted by the chap opposite who by now had moved onto his main course of a massive Ginsters pasty. It was all becoming a little too much for a Monday so just as we approached Chelmsford I volunteered my seat to a man standing centimetres away from me and went back to the toilet where my train journey began to write this. This morning’s train was delayed by seven minutes and I somewhat imagine this won’t be the last problem of the week.

No seats

Ok so I can understand not getting a seat on the train in the 07:00-08.00am rush hour but not getting a seat on the 06:15 train = outrageous.

No Grey Lines - Get Out of 1st Class

The 07:15 didn’t look like it had any seats so I decided to take relax on the platform and wait for the 07:30. It was a pleasant rest but it didn’t prepare me for the journey I was about to endure.

I sat on the floor of First Class along with a female commuter as there were so many people waiting in the vestibule when a large IC2 male and female ticket inspector came along. The female suggested that I might want a seat but I politely advised I didn’t have a first class ticket to which the man then asked me to step over the dividing line – and back into Standard Class. Given the obvious lack of room on the other side of the line, and given that he also asked my fellow commuter to do the same I told him he was being “pedantic” but that I “didn’t want an argument”.

Moments later I managed to obtain an exclusive off-the-record interview with a female ticket inspector whom advised me there was no ‘grey lines’ with that particular payment enforcement officer and that it was just black and white. She quietly advised me to stand in First Class but to move quickly upon the man’s return. We had further banter about the lack of WI FI access and how slim the chances might be of a future pricing structure, a la 1980’s football terraces, where you may get reduced ticket prices for standing. We both concluded it was never going to happen.

I noticed an argument broke out between the male ticket enforcement officer and another male commuter who claimed to have walked the length of the train to find no seat or space to stand….. it was a glorious way to start the day but it didn’t end there.
After some banter with my fellow commuters the ticket enforcement officer returned to ask everyone to move away from the first class door. His focus centred on a young twenty something blonde lass whom he deemed to be sitting way too close to the dividing line. He then turned on me as I had stepped over the line, to which I pointed out was because I was letting him walk past me. Things began to get a little silly so I went into the toilet for a few minutes to make a statement to camera. I came out and the discussions were continuing, I noted some First Class commuters were amused so I went for a chat. They were in no way bothered about their space being impacted by a few standard classers sitting/standing near them...

HOW MUCH!!!

I took a train from London to Birmingham today for work. Return cost £100 - surely this is insane!

the heat is on

I got onto the 19:00 tonight - aware I've been living on 5.5 hrs sleep each night this week I went to the quiet coach - sadly it wasn't very quiet.

Why oh why is the quality of my journey compromised by people who aren't regular users and so find the simple things amusing../ challenging.... anyways a very polite polyester city suit banker type asked if he could sit next to me and within minutes I was asleep - only to be woken constantly throughout the journey by what appeared to be a primary school party whom thought sitting in the quiet coach would be a good idea. The sun was beating on my forehead and I was sweating like a rickshaw rider. Not ideal. Why oh why couldnt the team leader have exerted some control over the kids - as one little lad nearly smashed his head into my camera tripod as i got out at colchester i almost felt compelled to shout at the little people and give them a lesson which their ditzy female leaders were clearly unable to teach .... social decorum!