OUT OF ORDER

Last night a few friends and I used a National Express Intercity train to get to Ipswich for a birthday dinner.

Having enjoyed an aperitif (or four) I was in need to use the toilet. Good job it was simply a wee as out of the four toilets I attempted to use only one didn't have an out of order sign on the door (and was locked). The only toilet not out of order was full to the brim with toilet paper and human waste however it was the best option I had.

A letter of feedback will be on its way to NX shortly.

Another instance of feeling that offences were commited in my direction which were out of order was experienced a couple of weeks ago when visiting the lovely Suffolk market town of Woodbridge.

Here is a copy of the letter which is still sitting in the council's in tray:

Jan 2011
To whom it may concern,

Yesterday I traveled from Colchester to meet a dear old friend in Ipswich, he came from Needham Market. We found amusement and mild merriment in Ipswich but were keen to seek out something with a little more charm so we decided to make the 8.5 mile drive to Woodbridge.

On the recommendation of a friend whom works in your fine town we parked in the Budgens car park and at 13:36 we purchased a ticket from the vending machine. Uncertain of our plans we thought it prudent not to opt for the 30 minute ticket, nor the 1 hour ticket but instead went for a two hour option, at the cost of One British Pound - exceptional value compared to some of the larger neighbouring towns and cities. Off my friend and I went to explore the delights of Woodbridge. Our first port of call was the Frangipani Coffee House where we had a delicious locally produced potato and leek soup with a buttered cheese roll on the side. Feeling fully fuelled we explored some truly unique local retail outlets concluding our exploration in the British Heart Foundation charity shop where we came across some intriguing vintage clothing. We were both mesmerized by the array of individual and local shops, most of our time seemed to be consumed by exploring vintage clothing options and second hand music treats.

After further retail exploration we noticed the sun was beginning to fade and given our respective journeys back to Colchester and Needham Market we simply couldn’t resist dropping into the Georgian Coffee House to grab a quick dash of coffee before our departure. Upon entering this fine establishment my friend pointed out there were a couple of caramel slices looking rather lonely so we decided to take a seat and liberate them. Upon consumption, and to our sadness, we realized it was probably time to get going. Neither of us could recall precisely what time we had arrived in Woodbridge but assumed that our two hour parking ticket would be soon to an end.

Upon returning to our car we noticed a yellow plastic parking notice had been applied. After close inspection it was clear we had outstayed our car parking ticket by a few minutes, enough so that we have been issued with a £40 penalty notice. The notice had been issued to us at 15:51, and at the time of us reviewing it was 15:54. It is quite clear that we are in error of paying poor attention to the detail of our arrival time to the car park, but it surely seems disproportionate that we should be faced with a £40 cost given that the price to park for two hours was just £1. The extenuating circumstances are that we were enjoying time as tourists and spending money, helping support the Woodbridge economy. Our time keeping was poor but in our experience most car parks deduct the appropriate amount accrued at the end of the visit – managed usually by a barrier/ticket system. At a time of economic hardship for many our enjoyment of Woodbridge is something surely you would wish all tourists to emulate and we would therefore urge that in the first instance you consider abandoning the pursuit of the £40 fine imposed upon us. Moreover I would also urge you in the long run to consider the implementation of a barrier to control the precise costs to park, such implementation might encourage tourists and residents to stay longer within the town centre as opposed to rushing back to the car through fear of the imposition of a heavy fine.

Thank you in advance for your time, we look forward to hearing from you

Darius Laws

New Prices, New Time Tables & Boris Bikes

So the cost of a weekly ticket to London is now £103.50 - just under a 6% increase. This is far from ideal considering the eternally disappointing experiences on the train.

I've yet to fully comprehend the new time table but already I know I miss the cheeky 07:45 intercity train on a Friday - which was a rare opportunity for a seat on a train from Colchester.

Last night I traveled on the 23:02 to Ipswich which was so madly busy until we got to Shenfield:



The only comfort was 6 chicken nuggets provided by Maconalds and financed by a colleague and friend Dan Humphries.

Prior to the packed train journey we had traveled from Clerkenwell to Liverpool St via a Boris Bike. A truly wonderful way to travel around. I've only been an active user for two weeks but am a huge fan, although I did fall off last night - lessons learnt :)

reflection, 2011 and the 'little things'

During some moments of reflection I cut (a little raw) reel showing the sorts of folks I've been working with in recent years:



and at the agency where I often work we created a quick homage to Band Aid for Christmas fun:

http://www.linkto.tv/iframe/show/uuid/eqHhxIJMyzc

One of my final journeys from London back to Britain's First City in 2010 saw the classic situation of walking to the station's south exit to find that it is locked up. This only adds a few minutes to the evening's journey but when its freezing and you want the warmth of your villa its frustrating and having experienced it many times I took things into my own hands. I found some police style incident tape and 'roped' off the exit myself so that the next batch of late night, no doubt, McDonalds fueled commuters wouldn't suffer the same - sometimes its the little things:



I've resolved to try enjoy the little (simple) things in life a little more this year. Much more gardening and the influence of the bees will no doubt force a level of patience and care unheard of in my usual application of life. A return of chickens (following a visit from Mr Fox) is on the cards as well as the potential introduction of two relatives of tigers TBC.

I'm really excited about 2011. I, like our great leader, believe Britain has much to be optimistic about. In fact it was over a Suffolk ale the other night a friend mentioned that we should seek a return to the days of Empire - perhaps easier said than done but its this sort of ambition which we need now more than ever.

Work wise there won't be much going on for me until February so I think some trips to the gym, running and the fact that Thomas Charles Whitman has left two 1210s, a mixer and about 18000 hours worth of vinyl in my dining room might keep my entertained.

Rumours abound over possible weddings this year, with trips to Devon and Malaysia (possibly even Nam) almost confirmed. There will also be a few visits to my the great city of Lincoln - for I have a leaking filling which needs attention. I also hope that there can be trips to see Marina and the Diamonds, GaGa and Muse.

In Bruges

Despite the worst start to the British winter ever known in my life time we decided to battle on and still go ahead with the planned trip to Bruges - via the car.

06:00 hours Matt Eaton and wife-to-be arrived at the Rose Villa estate for the pick up, still sad over the loss of the chicken's I'd been up early and exploring the even fresher fox prints in the snow. The organisation of this trip was pretty non existent on my part. I only really packed core essentials the morning of let alone had any euros / european power plugs etc so the channel crossing service station proved use for more than the XL bacon cheeseburger breakfast option.

Bruges itself was simply stunning. New cluttered street signage, no yellow lines, no brutal 1960s/1970s architecture just wonderfully cute (small bricked) buildings.

We experienced a range of (in the words of an irish actor) gay beers, including Quack, the guillotine, hoegaarden rose, judas etc.... had a horse ride, saw the chocolate museum and just generally relaxed. I met an interesting coffee retailer who introduced me to giant coffee beans and sold me some green beans which I later roasted in the Rose Villa Estate pizza oven = nice.

As we were making good time on the way home we stopped off at the French hyper markets, wine, cheese and some more cheese were the order of the day and between the four of us we picked up enough supplies to power through until Christmas. Aside from an incident in a French car park, which probably destroyed Mr Eaton's chances of becoming a British Diplomat to France, the driving and entire trip was very smooth. A great way to enjoy a long weekend. Highly recommend being In Bruges.

DGL infected, brutual chicken deaths, backing Dom Joly, epic snow & off to Bruges tomorrow...

Whenever I get a cold - which is normally once a year - the process of infection is consistent. First headaches, then sore throat, then runny nose, nose bleeds, followed by more headaches and usually sore eyes but this time I had added fun trying to breathe and sleep whilst suffering from a disgusting cough. The kind of disgusting cough which can turn even the stiffest of upper lips whilst sat on a commuter train.... I've almost kicked infection but have learnt that my partner in European adventures, Mr Thomas Charles Whitman, is currently bed-bound somewhere in the non-lit streets of the fine Suffolk Countryside and now my lady is _inevitably_ infected.

Its been a cruel week in several ways, my virus, epic snow and the death of our chickens. I was in my sick bed yesterday when Lucy broke the news that they had 'gone' and that there were 'lots of feathers'. She wasn't wrong, I braved the Hoth System style weather and went to investigate. Sadly I discovered a headless two year old Boudicca within the snow, not far from her house. It was a sad moment and one which will remain for a while - you can't really blame the fox for doing what he is programmed to do, and within 24 hours I found myself eating a chicken korma..... but then again Mr Fox clearly kills beyond what he/his family need to eat as otherwise he would have take Boudicca's body away. I also spotted from a distance Sylvia's headless body. I've subsequently worked out the movement of the fox through his snow prints - and lessons have been learnt for the future protection of chickens. A shot gun license perhaps?



After a sad day laughter was found in the wit of Dom Joly, who is single-handedly responsible for I'm a celeb getta me outta here being on series link in the villa. I even clicked the red button and gave him a vote. He will be in the last three for sure and could win it. While the celebs hang out in the tropical climate down under Colchester, Lincoln and indeed many other fine British communities get wallopped with an avalanche worth of thick white stuff - and I'm not talking about full fat Cravendale. Once again the 'warmists' seem to have disappeared back into their boxes as Britain sees the most punishing of beginnings to winter on record - I would stress tho that my great grandma probably worked through ten miles of this snow on a daily basis just to go and pick up a loaf of bread from the baker so as my good Irish friend Trevor Elvin would say theres nothing wrong with walking (just make sure you take it easy ya).

This afternoon I learnt that the Russians had clinched the hosting of the World Cup from us, it felt like we had just lost the tournament all over again. A real shame especially as we sent out the big guns, respect has to go to HRH Prince William, future King of Great Britain; aside from sending out Ross Kemp what more could we have done? I can't help but think the BBC could have waited just another week to broadcast their FIFA-Panorama...

Right time to find out who's getting kicked outta the jungle, then I've got to pack for a 4x4-drive chauffeured journey to Bruges. Quite possibility a crazier idea than sleeping on the high street of Colchester in the snow and -4 temperature.... updates to follow.

Up in the sky & an Epic transport mission and I didn't even get to eat a bowl of Kelloggs

Last Friday I had to walk a ladder up 13 floors, far from ideal and obviously by the end I was sweating like a man wearing a North Face jacket - ah maybe that was the problem.

The ladder was to help get an electricity generating bike up onto a roof overlooking Battersea Power Station as part of a Video shoot with professional cyclist Nicole Cook.

The following day I was due to leave London at 9am driving to Stratford Upon Avon. Sadly the car provided didn't start so some equipment and personnel had to hop into a taxi to Paddington, for a train to Reading then a train to Banbury, finally a taxi to the Holiday Inn - Stratford Upon Avon.

After a punishingly epic edit following an afternoon/evening filming I finally checked into my hotel room at 6am. I awoke at 8am and without a shower staggered down to the best part of staying in a hotel, breakfast. Sadly my body was still eating itself with the sleep deprivation so I could only manage two hash browns some baked beans, tea and OJ. At 9am a taxi drove me with the all important video tapes to ITV Central in Birmingham. It was a 45 minute journey so I got a little shut eye.

Upon hitting the door buzzer at ITV Central I was met by a staunch senior chap in charge of the building - his name was Rod. Rod escorted me through the building and introduced me to some weekend working journos and a dude who works in the MCR (transmission room). After a few coffee's c/o the free coffee machine and an exploration of trainline.com options for my return to Colchester I played out the video tapes to various regional tv stations seeking footage from the Kellogg's Swimtastic Awards. Upon completion of the play out I walked through Birmingham to the New City train station. Considering it was a Sunday it was so busy in Birmingham, lots of Christmas themed wooden cabins everywhere. At one point I nearly purchased some hot chestnuts but oddly I just wasn't hungry.

After some directions from a friendly parking inspector-type I arrived at the train station. There were two jolly fellers selling tickets, note- everyone I had met in my time in Stratford/Birmingham were exceptionally friendly. It was £40 for a single ticket to London on Virgin trains. Fearing I wouldn't be able to sleep on the train unless I had a seat I asked about the First Class option. It was to be 120 big ones, and despite the men of tickets joking about how it wouldnt smell of drugs it was clearly not going to be a receipt I could justify to my employer so standard it was. Luckily I got a seat and it was in the quiet zone so sleep was possible. Once I hit London Euston I taxied over to Liverpool St via the office whom needed some video tapes. I then had to get a tube to Newbury Park, where a bus took me to Ingatestone, to meet a train to Colchester.

I had a suitcase on wheels so the use of the lift at Colchester station was well justified, I felt like crap but ultimately told myself to man up. Within moments of arriving back to the Villa a pizza was ordered, red wine opened and feet up to watch Countryfile and the final part of the amazing Ken Follet Piller's of the Earth drama - Epic, like my weekend.

Refunded taxi cost, epic scooter failure, the Love Bus, Gok Force1, Jedward & a chat with HRH Prince Michael of Kent

The good news is my chickens won't starve this Christmas as I've been working rather a lot lately (hence lack of posting) and National Express refunded a £90 taxi cost incurred due to them giving me wrong timetable advice = nice.

However don't get too excited as the Hoegaarden's aren't really on me because I was handed a nasty bill to replace the engine on my scooter due to a misunderstanding with regards to oil - potential legal case pending so won't say anymore here....

One of the highlights of the last few weeks was the Vodafone World of Difference national tour with Gok Wan. We traveled to Cardiff, Birmingham, Manchester, Leeds, Newcastle, Glasgow and Belfast. I was the edit-producer and so working with cameraman to the stars, Jonas Abbott, and one of London's hairiest soundmen, Anthony Arghyrou, we shot and produced films on each of the site visits. It was quite intense cutting on Gok Wan's tour bus - which he declared with the love bus - and I took in the field editing to a new level by cutting on the flight from Glasgow to Belfast, even finishing the sequence off on the runway. We had an incredible team in charge of logistics - ex Marines - and so we adopted the brand of being the Crack Team. Steak and chips was on the agenda every day after filming (and in my case: cutting, encoding & uploading) although I couldn't help but feel for the PR and Social Media guys who still had more planning/writing to do whilst I tucked into the beef (washed down with some good old fashioned Trempranillo). Dining with Gok Wan, Vodafone's top PRs and the crack team in Manchester's rainbow decorated streets is a memory to cherish.

In amongst various other random corporate shoots, web streamed tv shows and an interview with Jedward (in which I had a minor fail getting confused between Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer) I got to visit Kensington Palace to chat with HRH Prince Michael about his views on new education techniques - Sound! On my out of the palace I was informed about a certain video tape which was made of Princess Diana in the grounds of the palace - a youtube release is doubtful this century mind :)