Man time on the coast of Essex, no "last train" and a £90 taxi

My partner in European travel adventures Thomas Charles Whitman picked me up at 06:30 on Saturday and we got a transfer from a friend's house in South-West Colchester to Mersea where we met a man and a boat.

It was a male only trip which was ideal as there was only a small bucket to pee in and we were to be at seat for 8 hours. During which time three of us, myself included, had multiple sickness off the side of the boat - the first man of illness was Alex Brown who won the prize for the worst smelling sick I've ever experienced. Second up was myself, although I wasn't sure if it was the boat's rocking motion or a few Hoegaarden's the night before which had done me in, finally it was my good friend Howard (father of one) Alistair Mitchell who "clearly hadn't learnt to be sick as a child" (quote from fellow fishing novice). Once we had all got it out of our system and the skipper had decided to take us to less choppy waters we began to focus on the job - and fish for the BBQ was the desired outcome. Sadly everything we caught was too small to eat with an exception of a whiting (sic) which fisherman Alex decided was to be taken home and prepared for his good lady.

After some food and a few ales we hit the road back to Colchester (DGL minus a flask and a bum bag which were lost somewhere on the coast). Fisherman Thomas Charles Whitman aka Thomas Jenson Whitman was my assigned driver back for the final leg of my journey. Amusingly he had an evening appointment which he wasn't quite on form for following a day of fishing.



After a bath and some photo-editing I prepared for a London bound evening trip. Fisherman Howard Alistair Mitchell was to join me and we boarded the 21:03 train to London. It wasn't very busy, we had a good table seat and had a bottle of the golden wheat beer, some say the drink of the Gods, aka Hoegaarden. We had a long chat with a female ticket inspector about life/the trains/etc concluding with a question from me asking about the final return train to Colchester. I was quoted 12:46am. With this in mind I wrapped early from my East London event and was at Liverpool St at 12:30am, keen on the idea of a hot apple pie and a Sunday newspaper for the return journey. Sadly there was no smooth way home as the last train had in fact been 12:18am. The station staff were as helpful as they could have been but it was I in the end who had to get a 00:55 train to Shenfield and then a £90 taxi from there to get back. Otherwise it would have been another sleep over in the doorway of a shop which wasn't a healthy option. I have written to NX East Anglia and on the basis of being given inaccurate information expect a refund of the cost of my taxi. Fingers crossed.

A Journey on water

I didn't have to travel on the train today in fact I walked to the Roman streets of Colchester twice but this travel wasn't enough to satisfy my craving for a journey....

So, and the reason I had to walk into Colchester on the second occasion today, I decided it was time to find out if my inflatable boats could provide a journey down the river colne. After purchasing a pump, as well as Dom Joly's new book 'A Dark Tourist', I had a mini work out/proceeding to pump my two boats. The first one had a hole on a join so I concluded it was a write off, the second boat had a previous puncture repair but it seemed to be holding so with a pair of oars I took it to water. Just around the corner from where I live is a former Lido which is now connecting to the river. The water level was quite low so I had to jump in, I found myself hesitating in front of a man who I noted had a canoe by his side. He saw my struggle and offered advice in how I would get a float without falling into the mud which I just about managed.

The next challenge was to engage my oars so that I could go cruising however it it suddenly struck me I was sitting in a child's dinghy with a massive hole in it held together by an ancient bike type repair patch - it was time to give up. This view was also recommended by a collection of onlookers. Realising I no longer had a purpose for this boat I asked the man of the water what I should do with it - he suggested a car boat sale. Noting my man's (Justin) canoe I asked if I could get involved - he said I could and that he was waiting to hit the water with the Colchester Canoe Club, I was welcome to hire the full kit for £5. Cashless I asked if I could drop the money through the door tomorrow, after all I do only live over the road. Justin had an eloquent solution, he offered me £5 for my boat as he had a beach hunt in Harwich and his daughter would get use out of it. We had a deal and so I joined some twenty+ guys and we went for an epic journey along the river Colne towards Colchester's Castle and back.

All Off at Shenfield

Last Thursday I'd had a long liquid lunch followed by a chance underground drinking experience with friends (Lady Tills and Miss Richards), despite this I was a good boy and called time on myself around 9pm.

I had hoped to be home and in bed early so to be on form for the following day which was set to be a solo edit, sadly I didn't get back until nearly 3am.

The cables had come down beyond Shenfield, I had the comedy experience sitting next to two young ladies from Stowmarket who had been to London for the day on a 'photoshoot' - it was all new to them but to us professional train commuters there was no doubt we were in for some punishment once they had announced the cables were down.

The train stopped at Shenfield and people piled off in search of some rail replacement buses - you couldn't expect them to be on standby and ready so I got a couple of Adnams from the bar and continued to relax until I realised that many more trains from London were on their way....

With my two new friends from Stowmarket we joined the crowds:





It was dark, raining and the buses were coming one-by-one. As more and more people joined it became unpleasant, with tensions running high. It was everyman, or women from Stowmarket, for themselves.

I'd joked that those who hadn't any critical responsibilities to attend to should go to a pub for an hour and let things calm down I was however lucky to find myself pushed onto the second bus to Chelmsford - where a train would eventually get us to Colchester.

I since heard the police had to be called in to control the crowds - its no wonder as there was no one in charge and no one outlining where and when buses were be arranged.

A Fire, no Friends and no Phone

I hit Liverpool st this evening c. 16:30 with the intention of some political leaflet distribution in Colchester sadly a line side fire in Romford meant no trains were leaving the station....

Usual panic begins, everyone on their phones "hi darling sorry I'm delayed not sure what time I will be back" / "all the trains are fucked" / "can you find out whats going on", and plenty of people pugnaciously questioning NX front line workers and Transport Police. A seasoned veteran in train delays it seemed this one was out of everyone's control and so there was no point in being angry with anyone so I turned to my phone to see who might be around for a pint. Annoyingly my phone was dead because today was the big day my number was being transferred over to Vodafone and my new phone was back home sat next to the kettle.

Without a laptop on me and with little energy to do any 'work' I decided the best option was a can of beer, sat on the steps of broadgate, and some good old fashioned people watching. I then got quite excited at the prospect of spotting someone I knew there was every chance I could go and have another brew or maybe even a bricklane - sadly the random lottery of friends resulted in nothing. About an hour after this I went back to platform 9 to see if there was any train to norwich action...... the tannoy kicked in with 'the next departure to Norwich will be on platform 9' - bingo I was in and quite in front of the masses so I got a seat.

I struggled to get past a couple of pages of my book and became sleepy in the heat, people were standing throughout the train. I woke at one point to see people passing a note down the line - no idea what it said but everyone seemed to be smiling.

Three and a half hours from my initial arrival at Liverpool St I spotted the allotments of Mile End (in amongst the new town houses/flats) and an evening of catch up on work began... political propaganda tomorrow.

Gourmet Dining Options, First Class & Queue Jumping

Its been a while since I've posted but I guess that may be down to the fact I'm no longer doing 5 consecutive days commuting at peak - so the need to note down is perhaps less needed....

I have however some good memories of the last few weeks.

Friends Mat and Clare at Liverpool lured me to drink wine at Liverpool St, once we'd finished I agreed to go seek out the food while they went to find more wine. I was on limited time in the fine dining yellow arched establishment so I had to sacrifice the plain option when it comes to the double cheese burgers....

With seconds to go I boarded the train with Mat and Clare only just making it also... We had a burger and a little (chicken) taster each. Crucially we didn't go for the fries option as I had plenty of home grown salad. The man sharing the table chairs with us found this most amusing - I tho thought it was a great way of balancing the meal.

The summer had most certainly arrived when I realised I was dripping in sweat before I'd even stepped onto the train let alone hit London - with this and with the confidence that I'd be working much that week I purchased a First Class train ticket. I didn't take advantage of it completely (as previous tale happened by sitting in standard) but on the days I did it was most enjoyable. Air con. Space. Peace and Quiet. But at a big premium.

Days ago a well spoken chap sporting a ruck sack and shorts decided he was going to push into the queue. I might normally let this go but time was tight and it was afterall in Colchester. 'Excuse me mate I think I'm next' was met with an obnoxious 'well i didn't know' - what sorry I was standing in line with a debit card in my hand. When I got to the machine it said ' no debit cards ', i turned around to advise the queue jumper and he swiftly walked to the portable ticket dispensing conductor - once again queue jumping. I gave up.

Metro in audio book & the loudest toddlers in England.

Traveling outside of rush hour on the train can often be a relaxing experience. Not it seems if your journey is to take you from Waterloo to Andover. Yesterday I went to record and photograph the sculptor working on the Sir Keith Park statue. Having already read the metro on the Colchester to London train I tucked into a history book on Rome only to be distracted by feeling a sense of deja vu – I could hear some Canadians talking about the stories I’d already read. At first it was odd but then I realized , rather annoyingly, one of the party of three was determined to read the metro newspaper out loud to the group. This was however nothing on the scale of punishment I was going to be put through on my return journey to London.

A young middle class mother and her two toddlers were sat adjacent to me in the quiet zone. Now I hadn’t deliberately aimed to be in the quiet zone but once I was settled I realized it was an ideal opportunity to catch up on sleep – this was the plan but very quickly I realized it wasn’t a viable option given how noisy the two young children were. Not being a parent I dismissed my initial annoyance at their noise, that was until the mother starting encouraging – whilst we are all sat in the quiet zone – her children to practice singing. This was all happening whilst the younger of the two girls was standing on the seats, with mum encouraging the continued ‘fun’. I resisted temptation to request for a more socially aware approach to child management (in the style of a recent trip to Lincoln where I had to offer feedback over a poor standard of coffee) so for an hour had to endure the noise. Mum did try and calm the children down towards the end of the journey with a classic game of I SPY but this didn’t entertain the oldest child who went off and found a man with an IPHONE on the train – in which she persuaded him to access some games. The mother found this amusing, and without apologizing to the man merely said that she ‘does this all the time’.

Now I’m no parent but I do think encouraging some social discipline into young children is probably a prudent long-term move – the next time I have to endure a family like that in the quiet zone I might just have to offer that feedback.

Lost Beer and Lunch

Yesterday's 07:45am was canceled and the 08:00 was 10 or maybe 16 minutes late so most of us made our way to platform 2 for to get on 08:02. 08:02 came and went and the driver announced that the train was going to be held to allow for the 08:00 to pass through. This was the moment everyone dashed back onto platform 3 but in my joining of the exodus an asda bag containing morning picked fresh salad, a hunk of cheese, some bread and a can of Becks left my company.

I realised about half an hour later but what was even more annoying was that the driver had got it wrong and it was his train, the one with my lunch and few passengers which set off to London first.....

Not an ideal start to what was otherwise a pleasant day - in which I met Director Noel Clarke and produced a webchat with presenter to the stars Vicky Letch.