Boris Bikes & Bordeaux

I've enjoyed varied means of travel of late:

a Ryanair flight(not fun due to some drunken chavs),

being driven around Germany/Holland in a greenhouse on wheels (no air con, 30+degrees, lots of sweat not fun),

Sailing (fun and totally for fun - decided as I live on an island time to learn to sail),

And a BA flight to Bordeaux (fun) for a recce, the talent being a Mr Dom Joly, he was initially going to attend but couldn't make it - his taxi from Gatwick back to London didn't get canceled. I saw his driver holding a 'Dom Joly' sign and broke the news, he asked if he was part of 'a wind up'. I explained he wasn't - but he wasn't happy.

I returned to Bordeaux some weeks later with Lighting Camera Operator to the stars - @Jonasabbott, @SoundManSandy (new to Twitter), @domjoly and client. Our mission to make some compelling content to inspire people to enjoy Bordeaux wine and perhaps even go visit.

We shot Dom taking part in a 'scream off', offering warm words of encouragement at a Marathon (where you drink wine as you run), and various other wine related activities. A particular highlight was the final day where with an hour to kill Dom undertook some dancing with a busker (hidden camera banter), I later briefed the busker he was being secretly filmed and that Dom Joly was a comedian - who wouldn't be joining him the next day - the busker was cool and with a 5 euro note was happy to sign the release form. Overall it was a great shoot and I came away having learnt much about grape juice.


The French enjoy cycling, they even have a Boris bike system. I recently encountered a 'bike off' in London where I and another chap both arrived at the only docking point available for our Boris bikes. I wasn't in a massive hurry so I suggested we toss a coin. He won, I lost. I then walked to the other end and seconds later a women took a bike freeing up space for me. I docked and turned around to notice the victor of the coin toss hadn't been able to dock his bike due to a technical issue - karma was on my side it would seem.

Like other euro cycling areas France is blessed with dedicated cycle routes, unlike the absolute carnage in Britain's First City Colchester*, however where they don't exist the cyclist casually rides where he/she pleases. This has never been the case in Britain, for as long as I can remember cycling on the pavement/anywhere other than a road has always been looked down upon, and today I had to fall on my sword over cycling on the pavement. As I swung by London's Barbican I saw the sign suggested 'no cycling' around a large open square / pavement. I saw the sign but was gently cruising (barely even peddling) as I turned a very wide corner onto a very wide pavement I saw rage in an elderly man's face. As I got closer I got sense I'd been caught out. This wasn't like the days when I'd be cycling on the pavement in the village doing my paper round, I was most certainly in trouble. The man spoke softly and with a good solid RP accent; "If you are looking for the road, its just there....". I smiled and said "I know", immediately getting off my bike and crossed to join the carnage of taxis, buses, white vans and city fast car drivers. Oh for a dedicated cycle lane with protective railings........

*
http://bit.ly/p6qzTa

Alex James, Boris, Iain, Albert, the Welsh & the Scottish

I was assigned to work on behalf of the Big Lunch to get some soundbites from Alex James (Blur) and Boris Johnson. Alex is now a farming man, producing his own cheese so an ideal face to promote the Big Lunch. The Mayor of London is a fan of all foods and so was equally a good man to have onside. We had to film a time lapse/shots of the world's largest picnic table being created just outside London City Hall. With a 6am call time I was provided with a Holiday in the night before, conveniently just around the corner but it cost my employer £171 - which seem very harsh considering the coffee provided was disgusting. Tho working with Alex and getting a couple of bites from Boris was fun I also met two other great guys, Iain _head gardener of the landscaped area outside City Hall, and his PUG Albert. Albert was very friendly and seemed to know all the other dogs, consequently Iain knew their owners - a nice community of dog walkers in the heart of London.

A man I've known for several years had up until last night refused to be my 'facebook friend' as didn't want to mix business with pleasure. Leaving behind his London job to work in Brighton I enjoyed a few beverages with him recently. The classic mistake of not eating enough food before hand led to a blind panic that the train doors were about to close on me at my station. I jump through the closing doors only to realise I was in Witham it was gone 1am and I really wanted to be in Colchester - a las a 30 minute wait for the next train was on the cards.

With it being the year of weddings/stags/general carnage in the lead up to many friends turning "old" at 30 years old..... the weekends haven't been too kind on the body. I seem to have paintball bruises from weeks ago and now general aches and pains from a weekend in Wales Canyoning. A total blast, such an exhilarating experience jumping 10 metres off cliffs/into waterfalls etc..... This all happened near Cardiff thanks to a company called liquidfriction.com. I've been to Wales/Cardiff many times but never experienced drinking culture of a Saturday night outside of Student mid week action - OMG utterly insane it was.

Carnage everywhere, but all good natured stuff as so many Stag and Hen parties. I saw a man get naked and wave his bits in front of a wife to be, only to be quickly evicted. I saw a young man laying on the floor whilst dribbling, he was unconscious so I called 999 for his hysterical female friend, then I saw a man running having punched a women in the face. Then the local Welsh policy advised against a venue which was apparently 'full of mongs'. I'm sure somewhere along the way I was also advised against mixing with 'valley girls' - sounded intriguing :)

The hotel we were staying in wasn't the most expensive I've been in and this was to be the downfall of my sleeping needss. Throughout the hours of 3-9am I was awoken by a group of Scottish lads who thought it appropriate to run down the hallway naked shouting 'let's go fucXing mental'. At 9am I popped my head out and asked for silence. Gratefully they obliged.

Birmingham to Geneva, Malaga?, Michaela Strachan & Coffee

I went to Geneva to work on behalf of a leading luxury car producer at the Geneva MotorShow. At first I feared another vast industrial exhibition space full of cars like any other MotorShow but then it hit me that my old Greek friend George, an internationally leading architect, was based in Geneva. Turns out he lived just around the corner from where I was staying. This was great news as he was able to show my colleague and I a few local sights over the next two evenings. My excitement at being in George's company led to some unusually high expenditure on fine wine and beer - resulting in my first ever case of flight sickness. Amusingly a lady who traveled close to me on that EasyJet flight saw me not looking my best on the Gatwick Shuttle train, "I take it you don't like flying dear? you didn't look too well on the place" - barely able to muster a smile I hadn't the heart to point out the true reason for feeling a tad jaded - it began with a bottle of Chardonnay and I think it ending with a bottle of Sparkling Chardonny with some local beer and a hoeggarden in the mix.

Thankfully I wasn't working the morning after... although I did have some interesting memories including a) being hustled by a women claiming to have a cancer stricken father - sadly for her telling me she was Greek didn't work out too well for her once my actual Greek friend returned from the toilet. Another interesting memory was the man who thought it appropriate to put his hands into my trouser pocket at 5 in the morning. He managed to find my wallet but I managed to find it back!

I'd landed in Geneva a little late in the day as had previously been working for the Vodafone Foundation in sunny Birmingham. Mr Gok Wan was tasked to deliver some lines to camera and we were to hoover up much else, Lighting Camera Operator to the stars Jonas Abbott was with me so all was smooth and straight forward. Some days later I found myself again with Mr Abbott on a plane via St Reatham to Malaga, Spain - well somewhere close by not precisely sure on local names. It was soooo hot and barely past March. Lots of 1960s/1970s style hotels and many cashed up Brit pensioners walking the streets. We had a great time, I discovered that I wasn't the worst at Golf (my first ever 9 hole course), I also discovered that the oranges on trees may appear ripe but they actually taste vile.

An interesting side affect of trying a taurine drink entitled JOSS was that I didn't really feel normal for about a week. Epic temperature, poor ability to sleep, mild panic and a couple of unspeakables. Thankfully I managed to recover in time to be on form to work with Michaela Strachan. We were producing an online editorial video for a car insurance firm with Michaela Strachan encouraging parents to be more active with their kids over the weekends. I wrote the script and managed to ensure reference to enjoying woodlands, the beach and open spaces were included. Consequently our day filming was only just down the road from me near Chelmsford which meant for a lovely working day, albeit somewhat unusual to speak to an entire school assembly about working in 'film' LOL.

With the need for a filling to be replaced I booked a Thursday and Friday work out of my diary and traveled to one of the country's greatest cities: Lincoln. Amusingly I found myself sat on a table with a bunch of dental students who were on a party weekend of somesort, we hit it off and before I knew it my breakfast burger king XL with cheese and bacon was being washed down with some white wine - quite a lot in fact as I thought it would ensure getting through the dental work with ease - which it did.

Before hitting the dentist tho I went into one of my fav. coffee shops in Lincoln to seek out some nice medium bodied, chocolately smooth arabica. They were out of stock and the only way I was going to be able to get some would be to visit the warehouse - I couldn't believe my luck, I was being escorted to a coffee warehouse. The good people at Stokes (coffee producers of Lincoln) gave me a delicious flat white and we spent some time chatting through all things coffee. My trip to Lincoln was marked by sophistication and moderate consumption of fine uphill based food options/general explorations and antique browsing. I left Lincoln via the slowest train in the East Midlands to Peterborough where I changed to head to Ipswich to go and meet with some old school chums.

Fish and Fashion

I was assigned on a top secret mission to go behind the scenes of the filming of some Young's Fish Commercials with Port Isaac's Universal-signed Fisherman's Friends. Joining me on this mission was a first rate cameraman Carlos "big in Dubai" Homer. We set sail from London's Paddington mid afternoon on a Monday. With three nights sleeping in Cornwall we took to investigating where we would be staying with the power of the Iphone. Our first hotel didn't have a conventional website with what looked like semi-drunk photos of the bar staff on their 'staff' section. The hotel was based on the very edge of Britain and the night sky was awash with bright stars. Phone reception didn't exist so we procured a local beverage and awaiting a random bumping into the women in charge of us (Lucy Newson: FrankPR). Prior to her arrival (accompanied by Jake a Photographer) we had fun settling in with the regular drinkers at the bar. It wasn't quite like the Ewoks meeting C3PO for the first time but it was close to that. The natives were keen to interrogate us as to what we were doing in Cornwall at possibly the most off-peak time of the year. I'd been briefed to be careful about my twitter and facebook comments about the top secret mission so we had to keep things ambiguous - "we don't know why we are here", "I think its something to do with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and Rick Stein", "something fishy" I told them. No more questions were asked. We bumped into the boss and soon retired to bed. I had hoped to fall asleep to some Marina and the Diamonds c/o youtube but Carlos' testosterone levels were must have hit a new high and I hadn't a chance of accessing youtube so despite the sub zero temperatures I fell asleep.

Day2: Padstow.

After a fry up from the catering van in total darkness we meandered to 'set'. The morning's shoot was based at the Quay with the Fisherman's Friends having 'brought the fish from sea'. Aside from interviewing an extra and being an extra pair of eyes and ears for Carlos I didn't have to work very hard so when the afternoon came I decided to give Carlos a break and go out on a rib (very small inflatable boat) with the safety drivers to get some shots of the Fisherman's Friends boat at sea. I'd been out around the headland of Padstow before in a speed boat but this was like no other boat trip and like no other shooting I'd ever done. Nearly three hours at sea and my body felt like it had been forced to spend 24 hours working out at a gym. The sense of achievement was my reward as was the 4 x 5 seconds of usable footage I'd shot. That evening we ate at Rick Stein's Bistro and slept rather well.

Day3: Port Isaac.



We landed at the port. Cameraman Carlos, Photographer Jake and the boss (Lucy: FrankPR) went to the unit base to seek out breakfast. I was keen to explore the beach so left them to it. I found a couple of massive (dead) spider crabs, an edible crab and a star fish so for kicks placed them rather close to Lucy's pink suitcase. This was perhaps the start of some major banter around pranks. Carlos handed my a cup of tea and some porridge - at the very bottom on my porridge was a rather dubious brown substance. I took a couple of mouthfuls but it wasn't right so I left it. Spotting some smiles amongst the team it soon became clear I'd been stitched up with brown sauce. Retribution was going to be sweet - or in the case of Carlo's lunch time desert strawberry cheesecake with mayonnaise instead of cream :)

Final Day: Padstow

Due to epic rain our camera's viewfinder had failed. This meant for uneasy shooting but thanks to the production team on the commercial we were able to borrow a monitor to get through it. At lunch time I spotted the Fisherman's Friends enjoying some diet coke's in their local watering hole so I persuaded them to come and do a little fun for our video:




I've always been a big fan of spending time in Cornwall and this trip proved no exception.

Writing this on the back of a brief trip to London's Fashion Week. My job was to get some reactions from audience members at the Vodafone VIP event. There were some seriously trendy types all over Somerset House. Pleasing to see some royal blue and Tweed action.

Controlling the lights on the London Eye, Myleene Klass, an old friend and a toast to Colchester

On Monday I produced and directed a top tips (greener living) editorial video with Myleene Klass - lovely atmosphere on set and I think I convinced Myleene to get involved with beekeeping. That evening I had to stay over as call time Tuesday was 05:50, so I went to Parliament for a quick drink with the hon. member of Lincoln and then went to locate my hotel in Tottenham Court Road.

After a casual walk, with a very loud suitcase on wheels, my Iphone battery failed so despite being within two minutes of the St Giles Hotel I had no idea in which direction. A slightly upmarket hotel reception looked like a good source for tourist info and also provided a chance for a quick visit to the gents. I checked into my St Giles single room with the hope of simply putting my feet up and watching a little tele - earlier in the day lighting cameraman to the stars Jonas Abbott had pointed out how nice it was to sometimes just watch tv when away on shoots. Sadly I had a dodgy aerial cable and could only get hold of BBC2. Slightly miffed with the situation and having not eaten food since lunch I went to explore the options within the hotel. There was a casino which I poked my head in and then I discovered a bar with food menus. To my pleasure I could see they had Hoegaarden on tap - £5 a pint mind - en route to which I could hear a lot of northern chatter and then upon studying the menu saw nuggets and chips being a main meal option. It wasn't for me so I went over the road to Sainsbury's bought some bread, olives, cheese and a couple of pints of Cravendale milk.

The next morning I met the crew and pr team opposite the London Eye. EDF Energy were now responsible for it and Myleene Klass was to make an appearance and 'turn on the lights' so to speak. There were a high number of snappers and z1 / Video journo types keen to get images of Myleene in front of the Eye. When it was our turn we were about to turnover when the lights on the eye started to go mental - it was giving cameraman Jonas Abbott a few more grey hairs so in a moment of terrifying power we were offered the chance to change the lights to our suiting. "Back to the previous volumetric white lights please" we cried and so it happened, as well as an extended duration - I asked for six minutes, we agreed on four but seemed to get more....



Following the shoot we went for a fry up and upon checking the edit was sorted it was an early well deserved wrap. Although, I had agreed to go talent scouting for some filming to happen this Friday - so I put a call in to an old Pal "Paul". We hadn't seen each other for a shocking two years (this is not a man of facebook) and whilst I only called to see if the man would be keen to star in a video he suggested we meet for a drink - having finished my work for the day how could I refuse. As I was waiting to meet him at Liverpool Street an IC3 male with strange bright coloured clothing staggered towards me, I didn't fancy loosing my iphone so began studying his movements from the corner of my eye. He whipped out a massive roll up and began to smoke what clearly wasn't standard 'backy'. A nearby builder clocked the situation and asked the man what tobacco he was smoking and that it was 'strong' stuff. I smiled under my beard and within seconds had been reunited with my old friend Paul.

We drank quite a lot of red wine - the only two non suited men in Corney and Barrow we were a sensational hit with other extended lunch time drinkers - exchanged a business card and met someone once employed by someone who still hires me.

Keen to get home in time to see Ipswich play the gunners I made a last minute dash for the 18:30 train and found myself standing in First Class. A french man was banging on about some new technologies and was disparaging towards Iphones. I waited until close to the end of my journey before making a point of plugging my phone into a power socket and making a public joke out of the battery life. Once it was charged I decided to point out to the French man (and his corporate blackberry friends) the benefits of the iphone - he remained unconvinced showing me some crap nokia with a 3.2 meg camera _yawns_.

So Ipswich didn't win but I had a nice curry whilst watching the game with friends. Today we shot an editorial video with Oz Clarke (legend). Upon wrap we cracked open a bottle of Colchester white wine, Bacchus, and raised a toast to Colchester. Happy days.

OUT OF ORDER

Last night a few friends and I used a National Express Intercity train to get to Ipswich for a birthday dinner.

Having enjoyed an aperitif (or four) I was in need to use the toilet. Good job it was simply a wee as out of the four toilets I attempted to use only one didn't have an out of order sign on the door (and was locked). The only toilet not out of order was full to the brim with toilet paper and human waste however it was the best option I had.

A letter of feedback will be on its way to NX shortly.

Another instance of feeling that offences were commited in my direction which were out of order was experienced a couple of weeks ago when visiting the lovely Suffolk market town of Woodbridge.

Here is a copy of the letter which is still sitting in the council's in tray:

Jan 2011
To whom it may concern,

Yesterday I traveled from Colchester to meet a dear old friend in Ipswich, he came from Needham Market. We found amusement and mild merriment in Ipswich but were keen to seek out something with a little more charm so we decided to make the 8.5 mile drive to Woodbridge.

On the recommendation of a friend whom works in your fine town we parked in the Budgens car park and at 13:36 we purchased a ticket from the vending machine. Uncertain of our plans we thought it prudent not to opt for the 30 minute ticket, nor the 1 hour ticket but instead went for a two hour option, at the cost of One British Pound - exceptional value compared to some of the larger neighbouring towns and cities. Off my friend and I went to explore the delights of Woodbridge. Our first port of call was the Frangipani Coffee House where we had a delicious locally produced potato and leek soup with a buttered cheese roll on the side. Feeling fully fuelled we explored some truly unique local retail outlets concluding our exploration in the British Heart Foundation charity shop where we came across some intriguing vintage clothing. We were both mesmerized by the array of individual and local shops, most of our time seemed to be consumed by exploring vintage clothing options and second hand music treats.

After further retail exploration we noticed the sun was beginning to fade and given our respective journeys back to Colchester and Needham Market we simply couldn’t resist dropping into the Georgian Coffee House to grab a quick dash of coffee before our departure. Upon entering this fine establishment my friend pointed out there were a couple of caramel slices looking rather lonely so we decided to take a seat and liberate them. Upon consumption, and to our sadness, we realized it was probably time to get going. Neither of us could recall precisely what time we had arrived in Woodbridge but assumed that our two hour parking ticket would be soon to an end.

Upon returning to our car we noticed a yellow plastic parking notice had been applied. After close inspection it was clear we had outstayed our car parking ticket by a few minutes, enough so that we have been issued with a £40 penalty notice. The notice had been issued to us at 15:51, and at the time of us reviewing it was 15:54. It is quite clear that we are in error of paying poor attention to the detail of our arrival time to the car park, but it surely seems disproportionate that we should be faced with a £40 cost given that the price to park for two hours was just £1. The extenuating circumstances are that we were enjoying time as tourists and spending money, helping support the Woodbridge economy. Our time keeping was poor but in our experience most car parks deduct the appropriate amount accrued at the end of the visit – managed usually by a barrier/ticket system. At a time of economic hardship for many our enjoyment of Woodbridge is something surely you would wish all tourists to emulate and we would therefore urge that in the first instance you consider abandoning the pursuit of the £40 fine imposed upon us. Moreover I would also urge you in the long run to consider the implementation of a barrier to control the precise costs to park, such implementation might encourage tourists and residents to stay longer within the town centre as opposed to rushing back to the car through fear of the imposition of a heavy fine.

Thank you in advance for your time, we look forward to hearing from you

Darius Laws

New Prices, New Time Tables & Boris Bikes

So the cost of a weekly ticket to London is now £103.50 - just under a 6% increase. This is far from ideal considering the eternally disappointing experiences on the train.

I've yet to fully comprehend the new time table but already I know I miss the cheeky 07:45 intercity train on a Friday - which was a rare opportunity for a seat on a train from Colchester.

Last night I traveled on the 23:02 to Ipswich which was so madly busy until we got to Shenfield:



The only comfort was 6 chicken nuggets provided by Maconalds and financed by a colleague and friend Dan Humphries.

Prior to the packed train journey we had traveled from Clerkenwell to Liverpool St via a Boris Bike. A truly wonderful way to travel around. I've only been an active user for two weeks but am a huge fan, although I did fall off last night - lessons learnt :)